My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
