I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
