y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize