Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
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