She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
