I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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