I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
