What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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