Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
