THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
