Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
