I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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