It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
