dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
