lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
