Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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