Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
