did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
