We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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