I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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