If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
