An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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