You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
