I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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