Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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