If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
All im saying is that my face might fall off.