So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
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i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
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NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won