God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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