a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize