He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
