2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
