Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
