why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
