im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
