I need to stop coming to work sober
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
where are you?
Hypothermia
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
