East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize