I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
