We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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