he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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