I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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