The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
We're using joints as your birthday candles
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
We need a shit load of segways right now
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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