So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
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Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
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Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
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