Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?

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(423): View more from Tennessee

today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married

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(828): View more from North Carolina

I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.

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(216): View more from Ohio

The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.

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27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Read it at the TFLN blog
(678): View more from Georgia

I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.

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(703): View more from Virginia

Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix

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(250): View more from British Columbia

We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...

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(347): View more from New York

Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves

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