Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(913): View more from Kansas

very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.

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(630): View more from Illinois

Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.

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(760): View more from California

It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.

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(205): View more from Alabama

Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia

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Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Read it at the TFLN blog
(308): View more from Nebraska

What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?

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(760): View more from California

If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone

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(813): View more from Florida

We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.

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(716): View more from New York

my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question

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(727): View more from Florida

I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.

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