Texts From Last Night

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  (708): View more from Illinois

  You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women

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  (708): You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women http://tfl.nu/qt4m
  Replies (11) Good night (661) Bad night (1741)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends

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  (507): Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends http://tfl.nu/oo5w
  Replies (12) Good night (1076) Bad night (1570)
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  (845): View more from New York

  i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart

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  (845): i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart http://tfl.nu/aabo
  Replies (50) Good night (3328) Bad night (736)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  how many servings is brandon's dick?

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  (203): nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body (508): how many servings is brandon's dick? http://tfl.nu/n1yr
  Replies (57) Good night (5189) Bad night (690)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.

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  (520): Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents. http://tfl.nu/dtw6
  Replies (5) Good night (4303) Bad night (1190)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.

  (1-314): View more from Missouri

  Me specifically?

  (903): View more from Texas

  Yep.

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  (903): Today in psych we learned that you are a whore. (1-314): Me specifically? (903): Yep. http://tfl.nu/w818
  Replies (44) Good night (9605) Bad night (1089)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator

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  (401): so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator http://tfl.nu/bvrd
  Replies (42) Good night (755) Bad night (7190)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes

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  (310): So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes http://tfl.nu/3hm9
  Replies (50) Good night (8975) Bad night (1155)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online

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  (319): I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online http://tfl.nu/tzby
  Replies (13) Good night (5439) Bad night (850)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....

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  (513): She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited.... http://tfl.nu/lzs9
  Replies (16) Good night (5125) Bad night (1037)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.

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  (610): So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way. http://tfl.nu/846z
  Replies (10) Good night (5675) Bad night (940)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.

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  (513): Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone. http://tfl.nu/y1zp
  Replies (15) Good night (1493) Bad night (869)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.

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  (416): BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me. http://tfl.nu/xkbl
  Replies (3) Good night (790) Bad night (323)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass

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  (615): Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic. (615): And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass http://tfl.nu/370d
  Replies (0) Good night (638) Bad night (272)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.

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  (479): I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers. http://tfl.nu/959h
  Replies (7) Good night (392) Bad night (200)

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