Texts From Last Night

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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED

  (1-603): View more from New Hampshire

  I feel like half our conversations start this way.

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  (603): GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED (1-603): I feel like half our conversations start this way. http://tfl.nu/9770
  Replies (16) Good night (6236) Bad night (928)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..

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  (814): he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth.. http://tfl.nu/cpmo
  Replies (37) Good night (7461) Bad night (2237)
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  (562): View more from California

  he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him

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  (562): he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him http://tfl.nu/6w3v
  Replies (8) Good night (3190) Bad night (950)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.

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  (201): It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar. http://tfl.nu/427l
  Replies (8) Good night (3495) Bad night (1066)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me

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  (703): i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me http://tfl.nu/jgjv
  Replies (8) Good night (4427) Bad night (1106)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.

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  (440): im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology. http://tfl.nu/d4l9
  Replies (14) Good night (3208) Bad night (1627)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face

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  (+44): Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face http://tfl.nu/5obj
  Replies (19) Good night (802) Bad night (1217)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night

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  (314): Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night http://tfl.nu/zfrq
  Replies (3) Good night (2158) Bad night (619)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.

  (816): View more from Missouri

  I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.

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  (816): Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night. (816): I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it. http://tfl.nu/9xew
  Replies (6) Good night (1744) Bad night (743)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy

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  (904): We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy http://tfl.nu/uv03
  Replies (8) Good night (1404) Bad night (937)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month

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  (515): I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month http://tfl.nu/wdkb
  Replies (9) Good night (1294) Bad night (520)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?

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  (412): Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest? http://tfl.nu/7pdc
  Replies (7) Good night (975) Bad night (426)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.

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  (954): I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security. http://tfl.nu/su6q
  Replies (9) Good night (1354) Bad night (488)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward

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  (206): His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward http://tfl.nu/5ira
  Replies (7) Good night (652) Bad night (321)
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.

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  (909): My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone. http://tfl.nu/ydth
  Replies (0) Good night (536) Bad night (273)

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