Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...