i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
