If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
