I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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