i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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