I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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