Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
