I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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