I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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