There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
