why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
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