You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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