I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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