Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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