Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Randomize
