the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Randomize
